5 Reasons Why I Stopped Saying 'No' And Started Asking 'How?'

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Saying 'no', especially where business is concerned, might be comfortable. And there are situations where this is the most appropriate response. However, a lot of people respond with a 'no' for many other reasons. They might not have the spare time, they could be afraid of failing, or they are simply, well.... lazy. If you are one of the “naysayers”, why do you say no? In fact, you might gain by learning another tactic which benefits everyone - not least the person who put the request in the first place. Read on to find out how taking time out to think about something and asking “How?” can lead everyone to discover new things.

Not always saying 'no' doesn't mean you have to say 'yes' all the time either. One way of not refusing all the time is to respond by asking 'how?' How can I be of help? How can we achieve this? This way you don't give off the impression that you are not helpful, or you don't care. Instead, it demonstrates your willingness to try and assist the other party, in hopes of making their life easier.

Asking 'how?' is not only a small adjustment, but also a simple approach which plays a big role in improving the effectiveness of communication. Whether it is a professional or a personal relationship, the 'how?' approach tends to create opportunities for both parties involved, whereas the 'no' option definitely ends them. Below are some of the reasons why you should stop saying 'no', and opt for 'how?' instead.

Asking 'how?' actually works

One of the best ways to avoid going head-on with challenges is saying 'no', but it also prevents you from testing your potential. How boring would life be if we didn't tackle challenges? Just think about it; most people with success stories will tell you that for them to tap into their full potential, they had to put themselves on the line in terms of challenges.

So the next time someone asks you for help, instead of jumping to the quick-fire response of 'no', ask them this, 'how can I help?' If you want to get ahead in life and in your business, then effective communication is key. By connecting to that which inspires your need to communicate outwards, you can inspire others as well. This will enable you to achieve your goals, and eventually live your dream. 'How?' might seem like a very simple question, but it can also be the key to helpful communication and getting out of your own way.

Asking 'how?' helps you get out of your own way to troubleshoot an issue

Time and time again, human beings tend to get in their own way when it comes to connecting with other people. We often forget about empathy, gratitude, or even accountability, and so limit our own potential. Most of the time we say 'no' without giving the issue at hand much thought. Saying no is the biggest thing causing you to get in your own way, whether it is in your work or your personal life.

When you find yourself in a situation where you initially feel compelled to answer with an emphatic 'no', think about asking 'how?' first, and wait to see where it leads - both you and the person who made the request might find yourself pleasantly surprised. One of the key life hacks no one will ever tell you is that there are many answers to a problem. Give the person asking for your help a chance by asking 'how shall we do this?' You'd be surprised that even settling on a middle ground can still provide some type of help to that someone, and in turn, can have positive effects which are more wide-reaching.

For example, if you are facing a difficult task that demands skills you do not posses, you can go online to top freelancing sites such as freelancer.com where you can get affordable expert guidance.

Asking 'how?' won't cost you a thing

People tend to respond better when approached with positive words. When you bluntly say ‘no’, you can shatter someone's dream or hopes without even realizing it. Not everyone will respond to your 'no' in a good way, because we are not the same. It takes no more time to respond with a 'how?' than it does to say 'no'. As a matter of fact it takes less energy, and the outcome might actually surprise you. Instead, it gives room for ideas to be shared around in the hopes of solving the issue at hand. Additionally, the person in need of your help might end up getting the help they needed, or even better.

Try to picture yourself in a world where more people asked 'how?' instead of just saying 'no!' Wouldn't it be a better place? If you want to become a better person and help more people along the journey of life, take a chance and ask 'how?' instead.

Asking 'how?' connects you up and out

For you to establish effective communication, you need to be able to connect in two directions which are: upwards and outwards. First and foremost, you need to 'connect up' to what inspires you. It doesn't matter whether you are inspired by Mother Nature, Allah, Buddha, God, or his son Jesus Christ. Often this external motivation pushes you to be the best version of yourself. You will also be able to encourage other people around you to do the same.

Being connected to something that is larger than yourself helps you to be aware of your mental and emotional well-being. It also allows you to communicate more effectively with other people. You should, therefore, take some time away to figure out what inspires you. This will enable you to increase your ability to become more attuned to your senses, thus paying off down your road to success.

However, effective communication is not complete until there is outward communication as well. You interact with so many people on a daily basis, whether it is at work, in social events, or on our more modern social media accounts. Evidently, for you to achieve your goals there must be some sort of interaction with a variety of people. So it is incredibly important for you to learn the value of outward communication when interacting with your work mates, family or peers.

Failing to connect with either one of the aforementioned groups might be a huge detriment to not only your success, but happiness as well. You need to connect with other people around you, and get aligned in order to share your vision and create a powerful collective belief.

Asking 'how?' creates a plethora of possibilities

There are many ways you can put this idea into action. Here is a perfect example. Think of a kid who wants his first car to be a luxury car. There are many teenagers who ask their parents for a car that is impractical to buy, mainly because it’s out of their budget. Most parents are quick to respond with a firm 'no!' Now think about it this way: what would be the response if those parents instead say 'how can we make this happen?'

The teenager might respond to the question in one of two ways. They might see the difficulty of getting the money to buy the car on their own. Or they might begin thinking of the necessary steps towards accomplishing their goal. If you are a parent, this small adjustment in your response to such a seemingly impractical request might open up plenty of possibilities for your child.

When you are truly inspired, you can turn possibilities into probabilities. After that, you can take the appropriate actions. With a proper strategic plan, discipline, and awareness, your probabilities can easily become a reality. With the parenting approach just described, your child can eventually achieve their goal, acquiring the luxury car they asked for in the first place, while realising his or her own personal responsibility to achieve it.

When it comes to succeeding in life and finding happiness, whether professionally or personally, all improvements must begin from within. In order for you to change the system, you must be willing to change your attitude towards those around you. How about asking 'how?' next time instead of saying 'no'.

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Postat: 8 septembrie, 2017


Entrepreneur & Creator

Nick is the Entrepreneur Correspondent for Freelancer.com. He is based in Sydney, NYC, & London. His life consists of frequent flyer points.

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