Humor writers neededproiecte

I'm looking for a MuleSoft developer with at least 4 years of experience to help me with a new project. The primary goal of this project is to integrate multiple systems seamlessly. Key requirements and project scope: - You should have hands-on experience in MuleSoft API development, MuleSoft integration, and MuleSoft ESB. - This will be a new project, so you'll be starting from scratch. - The main task is to ensure smooth integration of multiple systems, so a deep understanding of system integration is crucial. - Experience with similar previous projects is highly preferred. Ideal Freelancer: - Proven track record of MuleSoft projects. - Minimum of 4 years of experience. - Strong system integration skills. - Excellent communication and problem-solving abilities.

I am an experienced interior designer specializing in both residential and commercial projects. Currently, I have a medium-sized space, ranging from 500-1000 sq ft, that requires a modern touch. Key responsibilities include: - Collaborating with me to understand and incorporate my vision for the space - Providing a creative and efficient design that reflects the modern style - Suggesting furniture and decor that complements the design The ideal candidate should have: - A strong portfolio showcasing previous modern interior design projects - Excellent communication skills to understand and implement client requirements - The ability to deliver high-quality work within agreed timelines

I'm seeking an expert in system to assist with generating call scripts. Key Requirements: - Proficient in working with system - Experienced in generating call scripts - Ability to deliver accurate and reliable scripts in a timely manner Please bid only if you have the necessary experience and skills to work with this particular system.

I am actively seeking an exceptional content writer proficient in crafting engaging blog articles with a focus on lifestyle and health. Your tasks will include: - Generating blog article content, 500-1000 words per article. - Writing content that is pertinent to lifestyle and health topics. Ideal candidates should exhibit: - Top-tier content writing skills, specifically aimed at blogs. - Deep knowledge and understanding of lifestyle and health topics. - Ability to craft engaging and informative content catering to our specific audience. - Strong research capabilities to provide accurate and relevant information in articles. Your role will be instrumental in shaping the conversations and discussions our readers engage in, so commitment to the niche and consistency in quality delivery i...

As an entrepreneur looking for a talented seamstress, I am seeking high-quality skills in custom clothing creation. My main focus is on everyday wear, specifically casual tops and bottoms such as t-shirts, jeans, and summer dresses. Ideal Skills & Experience: -Proficient in making custom clothing -Experience with casual wear design and sewing -Knowledge on latest fashion trends for everyday wear -Possesses creativity and an eye for detail Tasks: -Design and create a line of casual everyday wear -Provide suggestions for styles and fabrics -Ensure high-quality sewing and fitting For this project, a collaborative approach is essential. I value open communication and feedback during the design and sewing process. I look forward to working with an experienced seamstress who is passionate...

I have various types of content to be translated from English to Arabic. The content includes legal documents, website content, and medical documents. Key Skills and Experience: - Proficient in translating English to Arabic. - Experience in translating legal documents. - Familiarity with translating website content. - Understanding of medical terminology.

I'm looking for a professional who can help enhance the quality of these recordings. I'm facing issues with low-volume spoken word audio played primarily on mobile phones. - My requirement is to enhance the volume of the spoken words to ensure a clear and enjoyable listening experience. - Ideal freelancers for this project will have experience in audio modification, specifically in volume amplification without loss of clarity or quality. - A thorough understanding of the mobile phone's sound output specifications would be highly beneficial. There are two voice communications, its not clear, need someone to clear the audio for both

I'm on a mission to invigorate a blog that speaks to aspiring and established writers, creatives, and seekers of inspiration. More than just a project, this is a quest. A quest to blend lifestyles with creative writing to shape experiences, share stories, and inspire a generation of creators. - Objective: Create a blog that revolves around lifestyle and creative writing. It needs to be innovative, unique, and engaging. - Theme: Lifestyle intertwined with creativity. - Audience: Our audience spans through a variety of creative seekers - both aspiring and established writers, as well as those looking for inspiration in their everyday lives. Key Skills: - Blog writing - Creative writing - Understanding of lifestyle trends - Eye for impactful storytelling - Ability to eng...

I am seeking a skilled English-Russian translator for the translation of a metallurgical document. Key Requirements: - Translate a metallurgical introduction from English to Russian. - The translation is needed for personal use, and must be done accurately and professionally. - The project must be completed within one week. - The translated document should be sent via email. Ideal Skills: - Proven experience in English to Russian translation. - Background in metallurgy would be an advantage. - Ability to work under tight deadlines. - Excellent communication skills. I'm looking for someone who can handle this task efficiently and deliver high-quality results.

I'm looking for a skilled full stack developer to help me create a working demo to showcase my new product idea. The demo should be compatible with web browsers and mobile devices, and have a minimalistic and modern design. Key requirements include: - Full stack development experience - Proficiency in web and mobile development - Strong design capabilities for creating modern and minimalistic interfaces - Ability to create a working demo that showcases a new product idea - Understand health tech related terminology and flows The ideal candidate should be able to work efficiently as we aim to create this prototype quickly and effectively. Please include portfolio work or examples of relevant projects in your bid.

I require a diligent online data entry specialist to assist in transferring data from one app to another. The specific task involves transferring data from Trainarize to Kahunas, a fitness application. As well are pdf/word files to the kahunas app. The data varies from training programs to nutrition meal plans and recipes. The ideal candidate for the job should: - Be proficient in handling online data entry tasks. - Possess a high level of attention to detail to ensure accurate data transfer. - Have a good understanding of fitness and training terminology. - Be reliable, responsible, and able to work diligently to meet the project deadline. Please note that the work is time-sensitive, so promptness and accuracy are essential. Thank you for considering this opportunity.

I'm in need of a creative designer who can handle a variety of design tasks. The project will involve: I already have a logo design but it needs editing. I want it to be more visible on social media at the moment you can't really read the words when it is uploaded. Possibly needs to be more bold. I like the wording Modern Money to be in modern pointy style font. I would also like another option of all the yellow font in Gold so that I can compare the two. I only need the logo at the moment but I will be needing the below in the near future. I am looking to work with someone that I can keep coming back to for additional graphic design work so I am relly needing someone I can continue to work with and understands my vision for the aethetic and brand I am wanting to create. ...

I posted this job again because I didn't find suitable developer. I'm in need of a skilled professional with experience in both Google Ads and Meta Ads. I want to implement similar script on Meta Ads. And I want to use the this api instead of OpenWeatherMeta API to get weather data. Please apply if you have a rich experience in integration between Google Sheet and Meta Ads/Google Ads Script. Please provide a quote when applying.

I'm looking for a skilled professional to run a Google Ads campaign for my website. The main goal of the campaign is to boost sales on my website. - The target audience for the campaign is national, so you should have experience in creating successful ads that reach and engage a large, diverse audience. - I have a limited budget for the campaign, so you should have experience in creating cost-effective ad campaigns that deliver results. - In addition, familiarity with key metrics and analytics in Google Ads is a must. Please provide a proposal that outlines your experience and approach to this project, along with an estimate of the costs and timeline involved.

I'm in need of a professional flyer designer to create a visually appealing and informative flyer for my company. The main purpose of this flyer will be to advertise Stump Grinding. Key requirements: - The design should be captivating and eye-catching to draw attention - The content should be clear, concise, and persuasive - It should have a good balance of text and visuals Please Include: -Logo -Cities Served- Mooresville, Davidson, Cornelius, Statesville, Troutman, Denver, Huntersville -Fast Response and Follow Through -Insured -Quoting over the phone based on diameter of Stump -$10 an inch with Discounts Available! Please make or somehow implement the way in which you measure a stump- (picture attached) This will be on a 5x8 Flyer My contact info will have my email and phone ...

I want to rank in the top three google results on average for the following keyword phrases Target Country is USA 1 - Accident Lawyers 2 - Truck Accident Lawyers 3 - Car Accident Lawyers 4 - Boat Accident Lawyers 5 - Construction Accident Lawyers 6 - Lyft Accident Lawyers 7 - Uber Accident Lawyers 8 - Pool Accident Lawyers 9 - Personal Injury Lawyers 10 - Motor Vehicle Accident Lawyers 11 - Personal Injury Lawyer Near Me 12 - Lawyer For Car Accident 13 - Personal Accident Lawyer 14 - Car Lawyer Accident 15 - Attorney Personal Injury Near Me 16 - Accident Lawyers Car 17 - Personal Injury Lawyer Attorney 18 - Car Accident Attorney Lawyer 19 - Accident Lawyer Near Me 20 - Lawyer For Auto Accident This is for the website The ranking must hold for 1 month before escrow is released. I must...

I'm in need of an SEO expert who can help me rank my brand name number 1 on Google for local searches in my city. I'm open to working on a pay-after-results basis, so you can be confident that I'm ready to reward your efforts. Key Requirements: - Proven track record: I need someone who has successfully ranked websites, especially in a local context. - Local SEO expertise: You should have an in-depth understanding of how local SEO works and the specific strategies to be employed. - Transparency: I'm willing to pay after the work is done, so I'm looking for someone who can uphold transparency and trust throughout the project. Ideal Skills & Experience: - Extensive experience in SEO, particularly local SEO - Strong understanding of Google's ranking algorith...

I have a Photoshop document related to a hotel reservation that needs specific modifications. The task involves altering details on specific dates, from check-in to check-out, as well as clearly indicating the total number of nights. The ideal freelancer for this project would: - Have proficient skills in Photoshop. - Be diligent and possess strict attention to detail. - Can manipulate text and dates seamlessly to make changes appear original. - Familiarity with hotel reservation slips and layouts will be a significant plus. Looking forward to receiving your proposals.

I'm setting up my own business and have already established my core values and principles. I now require a Brand Consultant to help me with the following aspects: - **Brand Style Definition**: I need assistance in defining my brand's style. This includes the color scheme, typography, and logo design that will best represent my 'knowledgable, caring, and trustworthy' brand. - **Marketing Strategies**: I'm looking for help in developing effective marketing strategies for a subscription-based website intended for an audience aged between 50 to 80 years. The marketing should aim to evoke feelings of 'excitement and inspiration' in this age group. **Ideal Candidate**: - Proven experience in brand consulting, particularly in defining brand identity. - Strong ...

I'm looking for an experienced YouTube SEO professional to help me meet the following goals: - Increase video views - Improve search rankings - Gain more subscribers My video uploads are irregular, so I need someone who can optimize my videos when they go live. The specific areas I need help with are: - Keyword research: I need you to identify high-ranking keywords that are relevant to my content. - Video optimization: I want my video titles, descriptions, and tags to be as SEO-friendly as possible. - Building backlinks: I need you to assist me in creating strong backlinks to my videos to enhance their visibility. The ideal candidate will have a proven track record in YouTube SEO and be able to show demonstrable results from previous projects. Experience in social media marketing ...

I'm in need of a versatile virtual assistant with a beginner's level experience who can dedicate a robust 10-20 hours per week to assist with a diverse set of tasks. These tasks include, but are not limited to: - Making phone calls - Various marketing tasks - Accounts management - Data entry Continuous employment, paid weekly based on hour sheet. Flexible hours, long term position. A successful candidate would be an efficient multitasker and capable of handling responsibilities in a professional manner. If this profile fits you, I look forward to learning more about your qualifications for this role.

I am in need of a skilled landscaper who can assist with the design of a modern, minimalist garden. The primary focus of this project will be on the hardscaping elements, particularly the walkways and patios, as well as the selection of low maintenance plants. Key project details include: - Focus on Hardscaping: The garden design should feature aesthetically pleasing walkways and patios that complement the modern, minimalist aesthetic. - Low Maintenance Plants: It's important that the selected plants are not only visually appealing but also relatively easy to maintain. Ideal skills and experience for this role include: - Expertise in Garden Design: A strong background in garden design, particularly with modern, minimalist aesthetics, is essential for this project. - Hardscaping Exp...

I am in need of an experienced architect who can design structures for scientific research. Specifics need to be discussed but your experience in creating functional and effective spaces for scientific purposes is crucial. Here's what is required: - Knowledge of architecture for scientific research - Experience with lab designs preferred - Proven track record in similar projects - Strong understanding of safety and functionality in design - Ability to work within budget and time constraints Please provide examples of relevant work and any information on your experience with scientific research facility designs when you bid.

I am seeking an experienced researcher with extensive knowledge in the field of music. As they didn't specify particular topics or goals for the project, the ideal candidate should demonstrate flexibility and a broad understanding of different aspects within the music world. They should have: - Proficiency in music theory - Ability to conduct interviews with musicians - Comprehensive knowledge of music history and various genres This role is critical to the success of our project, and I look forward to working with someone who shares a passion for music and research.

I'm an established Amazon seller with a diverse inventory of over 100 products. I'm looking for a skilled professional with a comprehensive understanding of Amazon's Seller Central and FBA system to assist me in optimizing my product listings, managing inventory, and implementing effective advertising and promotional strategies. Key responsibilities include: - Conducting detailed product listing optimization to enhance visibility and conversion rates - Implementing efficient inventory management strategies to prevent stockouts and minimize storage fees - Developing and executing advertising and promotion plans to increase sales and drive traffic to my listings The ideal candidate should have: - Proven experience as an Amazon FBA Expert with a track record of successful ...

I require a graphic designed for a set of polo shirts that will be sold as merchandise. The shirts are intended to appeal to a fun, light-hearted audience, and the designs should reflect this. Key Requirements: - The graphic should consist of cartoon dogs in various humping positions. - All over prints are pre...cartoon dogs in various humping positions. - All over prints are preferred to cover the entire shirt. - The style should be light-hearted, fun and engaging. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficient in graphic design with a portfolio demonstrating ability to create engaging and unique designs. - Prior experience in apparel design or creating all over print graphics is a plus. - A good sense of humor and the ability to create tasteful designs around relatively unconvention...

I've hired a freelancer for a project that involves multiple facets, however, he's taking longer than expected to make edits. I'm seeking a reliable and efficient freelancer who can handle different tasks and make necessary edits promptly. 1- Remove IP localized pages off Wordpress 2- Fix Home page slug so I can edit with elementor 3- Look at website design layout and give suggestions for button/ banner / element placements 4- Help with human content writing (NO AI)

I'm looking for a capable photographer who can deliver an excellent outdoor photography experience for my upcoming graduation. Key Requirements: - Ability to do a photoshoot in various outdoor settings, as no specific preference has been set. It could be a park, or urban cityscape. - proficiency in capturing stunning day-time pictures is a must.

i need some one to build an escrow website and app. i can get a basic script then you add some features on it or you build it from the scratch. i want a website, then an ios and android version. please quote your best price for this project Please provide examples of your previous work along with your proposal. Thank you.

I'm in immediate need of a Wordpress developer who can manage plugin development on my site. Specifically, I require the development and integration of a functional login/logout/register link system. Ideal Skills and Experience: • Proven experience in Wordpress Plugin Development • High familiarity with login/logout/register link integration • Ability to work quickly and efficiently under tight deadlines This is an urgent requirement and I am interested in getting it completed as soon as possible. Candidates who can prioritize this task and work in a timely fashion will be preferred. Do get in touch if you feel your skills align with what we need. Get ready to hit the ground running!

I'm looking for a talented logo designer to create a text-based logo that would be suitable for multiple platforms for my LAB GROWN DIAMOND RETAIL STORE. I need it urgently, so please only apply if you can deliver promptly. Key requirements: - Aesthetically pleasing and professional text-based logo - Versatile design suitable for use on website, print materials, and social media Ideal skills and experience: - Proven experience in logo design, particularly text-based logos - Ability to create a visually appealing logo that is suitable for various mediums - Strong understanding of branding and design principles - Excellent time management and the ability to complete the project promptly

I'm looking to build a detached garage that will primarily serve as a workshop. It's essential that the space is designed specifically for this purpose. Key Features Needed: - Electrical outlets for tools: The workshop area should be equipped with a sufficient number of electrical outlets to support a variety of tools and machinery. The outlets should be strategically placed for convenience and safety. - Ventilation system: A proper ventilation system is a must to keep the workspace safe and comfortable. The design should incorporate features that promote good air circulation and help remove fumes and dust. Size and Layout: - Size: I am looking for a workshop space that is 650 sq ft. This should provide ample room for various workstations and tools. - Layout: The layout...

I am in need of a dedicated Web developer with expertise in JavaScript and mastery in React.js. Responsibilities: - Develop, enhance and manage my new website using JavaScript and React.js - Optimize components for maximum performance across a wide range of web-capable devices and browsers Skills and Experience: - Knowledge and proficiency in JavaScript along with React.js. - Excellent problem-solving skills. - A firm understanding of data structures and algorithms. - Vast experience in web development. - A commitment to collaborative problem solving, design, and creating quality products is crucial. This project isn't for everyone. But if you got what it takes, it's an excellent opportunity to display your abilities in modern, innovative web development practices.

We're on the lookout for influencers who share our values and passion for wearing organic clothing that's better for the environment. If you're committed to promoting sustainable fashion and align with our ethos, we'd love to collaborate with you to spread the word about our products and the importance of eco-friendly choices in fashion. Let's join forces to inspire others to embrace sustainable living and make a positive impact on the planet, one stylish outfit at a time. Key Requirements: - Past Work: Please share your previous collaborations with brands. I want to see successful past campaigns that you've run which have resulted in tangible sales. - Experience: Experience in not just brand awareness, but driving sales through influencer marketing is key.

I'm seeking an experienced cybersecurity professional who can assist me in creating a Remote Access Trojan (RAT) for iOS, with the goal of monitoring text messages, call logs, and WhatsApp on another device. Key Requirements: - The RAT must be able to access text messages, call logs, and WhatsApp on an iOS device - The primary purpose of this software will be for parental monitoring Ideal Skills: - Strong cybersecurity background - Proficiency with RAT creation and deployment - Extensive experience with iOS systems and security - Ethical hacker certification would be a plus The successful candidate must have a proven track record in creating secure and effective RATs, and understand the sensitive nature of this project. Please provide samples of similar projects you have worked on...

I have the attached images , I need it to be in excel form.

I'm looking for a dedicated marketer who can confirm jobs and close deals on behalf of my mobile detailing business. Here are your main responsibilities, Key Responsibilities: - Making phone calls to clients. - Using Email communications to get confirmations and closures. - Utilizing Social Media platforms for client engagement. - Generating Leads to secure potential customers. Ideal candidates possess strong communication skills over the phone, email, and social media platforms. Some experience in lead generation for service-oriented businesses is preferred.

I'm seeking a skilled female photographer with proficiency in graduation photography. The shoot should be completed within 1-2 hours. Exceptional ability to create traditional posed shots is required. The photographer should possess: - Experience in graduation photography - Ability in setting up the right shots - Competency in photo-editing software The ideal bidder will have a portfolio of their previous work showing their skills in posed shots.

I am in need of an eBay expert to set up and manage my account on a profit sharing basis. My knowledge of eBay is non-existent, and I'm looking for someone who can efficiently navigate the platform to set up listings and manage sales. Ideal candidate: - Extensive experience with eBay - Know how to set up an eCommerce account from scratch - Excellent listing and selling skills - Knowledge of ...an eCommerce account from scratch - Excellent listing and selling skills - Knowledge of profit sharing systems To note: - I am unsure as to the type of products being listed at this time. - Less than 50 products will be listed initially. If you're an eBay pro with a confident hand in setting up and managing new accounts, and have experience in running a profit-sharing system, your skill...

I am looking to have a custom scoreboard application created for a robot hockey competition. This will run off a Windows machine and will need to made full screen. It will be controlled with keyboard inputs. It should look something like this: The scoreboard app should have a countdown timer, goal counts, and penalty. It will need to play sounds at certain intervals and also communicate with WLED via JSON. Here is the PRD:

I need to replace some elements on my poster urgently, and would like this task completed as soon as possible. The elements that require replacing are images and colors. Please include your past relevant work and experience in your application. It's important that you are able to demonstrate previous similar tasks you've accomplished. I'm looking for someone who can work swiftly and efficiently on this project while maintaining quality output. Your detailed project proposals are welcome, and I look forward to reviewing them.

I'm looking for an expert in deep reinforcement learning, particularly in the deep Q learning algorithm. The project involves working on a sequential decision-making task to develop an optimum daily activity schedule for individuals. This requires the individual to have experience in: - Deep Reinforcement Learning: The candidate should be adept at working with deep Q learning to solve sequential decision-making problems. - Task Understanding: Understanding the complexity and nuances of daily tasks such as work, exercise, study, and leisure activities. - Optimization: The goal is to create an optimum schedule for individuals, which means the candidate should be able to work towards improving performance and efficiency. If you have experience in these areas and can bring a fresh persp...

I'm in need of an experienced web scraper, proficient in Python, to gather pricing data from a range of websites. Key Requirements: - The scraper must specifically target and extract pricing information. - The project involves scraping data from a moderate amount of websites (between 1 to 5), so the ability to efficiently manage multiple sources is a must. - The final delivery should be not just raw data, but organized and cleaned data. Ideal Skillset: - Proficient in web scraping tools and techniques, especially with Python. - Experience with handling and cleaning data. - Ability to manage multiple sources of data effectively. - Experience in working with pricing data is a plus. Please bid if you meet these requirements and can deliver efficient and well-structured results. Than...

Hi, I am looking for senior frontend developer who has rich experience in React () and Vue.js. I have the website built using and I want to rebuild it using Vue.js. Thanks.

I am looking for a skilled SEO expert who can bring individual pages of my website to the first page/s of Google search results. The primary goal is for specific images/pages of my site to be found in search results. My site is in support of a non-profit public art project. There are 15 public works of art on display in various locations, each created by a different artist. Each work is named. I want these works of art and the artists who created them to be properly indexed in Google so that if anyone searches for a particular work of art and/or artist, by name, they will find my website and the page of information on that work of art and the artist. My site itself comes up in first position of search results for the name of the project. But individual pages and artists do not come up ...

I'm looking for a skilled embroidery digitizer who can effectively convert more than 50 of my intricate designs for embroidery purposes. - File Format: As I've not specified a required file format, ideally, the freelancer should be proficient in working with multiple file formats like DST, PES, and EXP which gives the flexibility to work with various machinery and software. - Quantity: I have more than 50 designs that need to be handled. It's essential for the selected freelancer to be able to manage large scale projects without compromising on quality. - Design Complexity: My designs are considered advanced. They contain numerous fine details and require a high level of precision. It's crucial for the freelancer to have an understanding of complex design digitiza...

I have a son, he's 15 years old. I want him to study as a supplement geology, namely Economic Geology (mining of minerals such as petroleum, gases, coal, etc.) I need a teacher who: 1) understands the subject himself; 2) is able to present these topics to the student in a competent way. The lessons will be done online, and the expected workload is +-5 lessons per week, one and a half hours each. The teacher will be responsible for the development of the course. We live in Chicago. - Desired Skills and Experience: Deep understanding of and experience in Petrology, Paleontology, Mineralogy, and Economic Geology are a must. Previous tutoring or teaching experience is a big plus.

I am seeking a skilled copywriter to assist with a project of mine. The length should be between 500-1000 words. While industry-specific experience is not necessary, it is important to have strong research skills to get into the specifics of the subject on hand. Key Points: - Copywriting project - Length: 500-1000 words - Strong research skills - Ability to write appealing and engaging content Ideal Candidate: - Skilled in copywriting - Detail-oriented - Solid research abilities - Previous experience not necessary, but a plus. Looking forward to receiving your bids!

I'm in search of a specialist who can expertly navigate the world of Facebook advertising. - You'd be required to create and manage Facebook ad campaigns to meet my specified goals. - I'm looking to leverage the power of Facebook ads for my business and need someone with the skills to make that happen. - Experience with a variety of businesses and industries is a plus. I look forward to hearing from you and discussing how we can work together to make my Facebook ad campaigns a success.

I am in need of a Python professional who excels in data analysis. The role will involve managing both stream and batch processing in Databricks, and is geared towards creating a robust data pipeline. Additionally, the project requires testing for the purpose of ensuring data accuracy. - Python Data Analysis: You will employ Python to analyze complex data effectively. - Databricks: You should be comfortable with both stream and batch processing. - Testing: You are expected to run tests to ensure data accuracy. Ideal candidates will have a proven track record working with Python, Databricks, and data testing, particularly in guaranteeing data accuracy.